Following from “understanding emotions“, I’d like to help a brother out and speak to the men. If you haven’t already, please read that article first which just gives a brief description of emotions.
Ok so YES generally, females of all ages are emotional. All traits vary in degrees between individuals and so sensitivity or emotional responsiveness also varies from female to female. And that’s ok. Do you ever think that females are sometimes too emotional, or over emotional?! Well yes maybe! Especially at certain times of the month!
…Sometimes it’s as if the world is ending.
Is the world ending? No. But to her, does it FEEL like the world is ending? Yes, a little bit!
In order to help her to change how she FEELS you need to connect to her emotionally. Let me logically explain this: because emotions predominantly function from the right hemisphere and logical thinking and language predominately function from the left hemisphere, you need to target the right hemisphere of the brain, not the left. That is where she is functioning from in that moment.
SO, If you talk too much, give direction or logically tell her how to fix the problem, you are not relating to her right hemisphere or emotions, you are trying to relate with the left hemisphere with logical reasoning. It’s like trying to force a triangle shape into a circular hole. Children do that when they don’t understand that the shapes are different!
Emotions are not understood verbally all of the time. Think of emotions like flowing water, talking to her on how to fix the problem when she is in “that emotional flow”, is like forcing a dam against gushing water.
The result will be, that either the water will build up and flow another way or the water will break through the dam. In other words, you will either lose her, because she feels so mis-understood and not connected to you or you will be the target of her frustration. Thats just a lose-lose situation.
So, what should you do with all your solutions in your tool box? Save them for another disaster, because they are incredibly useful, especially you can read your map when she can’t find her direction or lift a heavy box with your big strong muscles.
But add a *hug* to your tool box and some gentle *awwws* and pull them out when you see gushing water. Open your ears and listen. The feeling of a soft place to fall is all that girl needs and when she feels safe, the waves of her emotions will pull in, settle down and you will have been the hero! Well done you. 😉

 

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